Domestic abuse

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About domestic abuse

Find out how the law defines domestic abuse, and the different forms it can take.

WarningIf you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 now. If you're in danger but can't talk, make a silent 999 call.

Definition of domestic abuse

Domestic abuse is behaviour that is controlling, coercive, threatening, violent or abusive. It happens between people aged 16 or over who are personally connected to each other. It can refer to a single incident or a pattern of incidents.

Abusive behaviour can include:

physical or sexual abuse
violent or threatening behaviour
controlling or coercive behaviour
economic (financial) abuse
psychological, emotional or other abuse

Read the Government's legal definition of domestic abuse

Who it affects

Domestic abuse can affect anyone, regardless of age, class, ethnicity, sexuality, religion or educational background.

Most domestic abuse is carried out by men against women, but men can also suffer abuse by women. And domestic abuse is just as common in same sex relationships.

Abusers can be a partner, ex partner or family member.

Domestic abuse also includes:

forced marriage
female genital mutilation
'honour killings'
abuse of elderly family members

Children can be the victims of domestic abuse if they see, hear or experience the effects of the abuse, and are related to the victim or perpetrator.

Report a concern about a child

Examples of domestic abuse

Domestic abuse can take different forms. It can be very frightening, but it can also be subtle. Examples include:

threatening to hurt you or members of your family
hitting, shoving, kicking, strangling, slapping, pulling hair, throwing things, choking or smothering
performing sex acts or having sex with you when you don't want to, with or without physical force or threats
criticism and put-downs, including name calling or criticism of your appearance or identity
forced isolation from your friends or family
being blamed for every argument or problem, or for the violent behaviour
humiliation at home or in public
telling you what to do or wear, or using manipulation or coercion
following you or checking up on your mobile phone, post or internet use
preventing you from getting or keeping a job
taking your money away or withholding the family income

Get help if you're experiencing domestic abuse

If you're experiencing domestic abuse, it's important to remember it's not your fault, and you don't have to live through it in silence. There are many organisations you can turn to for help and advice.

Get help from domestic abuse services in Sutton

Get help from a national organisation